Alrighty, it's official! I will be using my bloggy for an unspecified amount of time to challenge myself to do all the things I think will make a little bit better. I'm calling it my 1week challenge, because I can do anything for a week and I couldn't think of a better name. If you are reading this and have a good name for my little mini project- let me know! :D
For the first week, since I'll be gone to camp, I'm starting off small.
This week I will... floss every night. :)
I'm terrible about flossing, and there's so much research that avoiding it can lead to heart disease, etc. I just feel like it's not that difficult and I don't really have an excuse not to. Hopefully I can make it a habit. I'll let you all know how it changes my life (and all about camp) on Friday!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Dang Girl!
Ha ha! You don't even want to KNOW how much food I ate today. Seriously, it's scary.
I actually got my run in though- 30 minutes of intervals and realizing that even a 10min/mile pace is hard for me to maintain. Oh well, gotta start somewhere right? I like this exercising everyday thing. It's hard while I'm on the treadmill, but then I feel really good when it's over.
After working out I made a diaper cake for my friend Jess's shower. There was so much food there! And I ate a bunch of fruit and veggies... and maybe my weight in home made mints that tasted like buttercream icing straight off the side of a cake. Some days my love/hate relationship with foods just gets the best of me. Good thing I run now.
Went to a hibachi grill with friends after the shower, and then hung around the "mall" in M'ville. Yes it's supposed to be in quotation marks. We all know that M'ville does not actually have a mall... I tore Belk apart looking for a fossil purse and ended up with another Maxi dress and some bangles from Cato.
We had a good time just hanging out though, and we may have gone out for ice cream. Man, I'm weak!
So, my day was pretty uneventful, but I've been thinking about my little blog. I think it could be fun to do a weekly blog experiment where I try to improve myself in some way, shape, or form. It could be a serious improvement, like do a good deed and write about it everyday, or it could be something silly, like floss. Anyway, it would give me a mini-challenge and hopefully provide for some entertaining writing. And it will give me a chance to try all the things I've wanted to- like be a vegan for a week, etc. I'll come up with a name for my challenge and think about what I want to do my first week of self-improvement. I'll let you know what it is tomorrow. It can't be anything exciting though, because we'll be at camp all week so no blogging from there! Next weeks challenge will be more exciting though, promise! :)
I actually got my run in though- 30 minutes of intervals and realizing that even a 10min/mile pace is hard for me to maintain. Oh well, gotta start somewhere right? I like this exercising everyday thing. It's hard while I'm on the treadmill, but then I feel really good when it's over.
After working out I made a diaper cake for my friend Jess's shower. There was so much food there! And I ate a bunch of fruit and veggies... and maybe my weight in home made mints that tasted like buttercream icing straight off the side of a cake. Some days my love/hate relationship with foods just gets the best of me. Good thing I run now.
Went to a hibachi grill with friends after the shower, and then hung around the "mall" in M'ville. Yes it's supposed to be in quotation marks. We all know that M'ville does not actually have a mall... I tore Belk apart looking for a fossil purse and ended up with another Maxi dress and some bangles from Cato.
We had a good time just hanging out though, and we may have gone out for ice cream. Man, I'm weak!
So, my day was pretty uneventful, but I've been thinking about my little blog. I think it could be fun to do a weekly blog experiment where I try to improve myself in some way, shape, or form. It could be a serious improvement, like do a good deed and write about it everyday, or it could be something silly, like floss. Anyway, it would give me a mini-challenge and hopefully provide for some entertaining writing. And it will give me a chance to try all the things I've wanted to- like be a vegan for a week, etc. I'll come up with a name for my challenge and think about what I want to do my first week of self-improvement. I'll let you know what it is tomorrow. It can't be anything exciting though, because we'll be at camp all week so no blogging from there! Next weeks challenge will be more exciting though, promise! :)
Friday, July 9, 2010
*Sigh*
I miss my husband and my dog. That is all.
Cross-training today instead of running. I'm doing thirty minutes on the stationary bike and thirty minutes with Jillian Michaels and yoga. Finally got to the grocery store, so the food situation at the May house is much better. Sorry there's not a lot going on; I just wanted to keep my promise to myself to try and post every day that I can.
Cross-training today instead of running. I'm doing thirty minutes on the stationary bike and thirty minutes with Jillian Michaels and yoga. Finally got to the grocery store, so the food situation at the May house is much better. Sorry there's not a lot going on; I just wanted to keep my promise to myself to try and post every day that I can.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Playing the gain
Ha ha! No post since April? I have no excuse. In fact, I'm hoping I realize that I don't have an excuse for a lot of things- training for my races, sticking to weight watchers, studying for physics, not being an angst-ridden young adult...
So what's been going on this summer... Well I missed writing about a lot-
My birthday- lots of fun. All Ashby children and spouse's were present. We ate key lime pie and cheese fries. I gained 2 lbs.
End of the year- My students did SUPER well on their EOC! All but three of them passed the test, so I'm very proud. I ate a lot of cheese fries out of stress. I gained 2 more lbs.
Beach week with the fam- An entire week of the beach, babies, and two kitchens full of processed yumminess. Great for the soul! Bad for the waistline. +1 lbs.
Puerto Rico- Amazing trip as usual! Robert's first time on an airplane (He loved it). Did a lot of manual labor at the school obviously since I came home and someone accused me of not going because they thought I wasn't tan enough. We did get to do a few things just for fun though- Robert and I went to bioluminescent bay and I got to show off my mad science teacher skills! ID'ing all the dinoflaggelates and what not! The last day we went to El Yuncae (the local rainforest) and the beach for a day. All in all Puerto Rico is a lot of fun, but very limited in the vegetarian food choices. Most of their dishes (and practically all of their "healthy" ones) included some sort of meat. I ate a lot of pineapple and fruit, but I also ate a lot of fried things and ice cream. Add 3 more lbs please.
Home from Puerto Rico, I stepped on the scale to find a number I hadn't seen in a year. Sigh. Here we go again. Now I'm signed up for weight watchers for another round, so you'll probably here quite a bit about that. But you'll also hear about the races I'm running! Our second 5k was July 3rd, but I don't know my time as my timing chip apparently messed up. We're running another in August and then a mud run in September. There's a HALF-MARATHON! (gulp!) in Oak Ridge November 21st. Can we do it? You might get to hear about it! Assuming I actually blog as often as I want to... NO EXCUSES!
So what's been going on this summer... Well I missed writing about a lot-
My birthday- lots of fun. All Ashby children and spouse's were present. We ate key lime pie and cheese fries. I gained 2 lbs.
End of the year- My students did SUPER well on their EOC! All but three of them passed the test, so I'm very proud. I ate a lot of cheese fries out of stress. I gained 2 more lbs.
Beach week with the fam- An entire week of the beach, babies, and two kitchens full of processed yumminess. Great for the soul! Bad for the waistline. +1 lbs.
Puerto Rico- Amazing trip as usual! Robert's first time on an airplane (He loved it). Did a lot of manual labor at the school obviously since I came home and someone accused me of not going because they thought I wasn't tan enough. We did get to do a few things just for fun though- Robert and I went to bioluminescent bay and I got to show off my mad science teacher skills! ID'ing all the dinoflaggelates and what not! The last day we went to El Yuncae (the local rainforest) and the beach for a day. All in all Puerto Rico is a lot of fun, but very limited in the vegetarian food choices. Most of their dishes (and practically all of their "healthy" ones) included some sort of meat. I ate a lot of pineapple and fruit, but I also ate a lot of fried things and ice cream. Add 3 more lbs please.
Home from Puerto Rico, I stepped on the scale to find a number I hadn't seen in a year. Sigh. Here we go again. Now I'm signed up for weight watchers for another round, so you'll probably here quite a bit about that. But you'll also hear about the races I'm running! Our second 5k was July 3rd, but I don't know my time as my timing chip apparently messed up. We're running another in August and then a mud run in September. There's a HALF-MARATHON! (gulp!) in Oak Ridge November 21st. Can we do it? You might get to hear about it! Assuming I actually blog as often as I want to... NO EXCUSES!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
FIVE KAYYYY!!!!!
So before I tell you about my very first 5k, I'm going to do a little spring break recap in pictures. Here we go!
NEW HAIR! YAY!
AWESOME PEDICURE! I GOTTA DAISY ON MY TOE!
(my right foot looooves my left foot so!)
*only Abby will get that, lol!*
Other than that, I didn't take any pictures of my own. Boo, I know. I'm horrible. I just can't get used to carrying around a camera! Wish I had a smaller one that would slip in my pocket, but I don't. Oh well. Spring break was awesome! Lots of family time, and supposed relaxation (although that never really happens at the May house).
Bert and I had to come back on Saturday for Easter service, and Robert preached a really good sermon at "Sunrise" service. I liked it a lot! Probably because I helped. ;)
Anyway, so last week was good. Got back into the swing of things at school and tried to do some 5k training runs before the race this past Saturday. Here's how that went.
Monday Run: FAIL. Robert got me an awesome Nike+ for my ipod so that it could track our time for us and we'd know exactly how far we went. Long story short, I lost the sensor my first time using it. :(
Tuesday Run: Robert had a class at Johnson that evening, so he didn't even get tot run. I ran around the track at JBC for 30 minutes. Probably didn't go nearly far enough, but again- I had no idea how far I'd gone because I lost my $16 sensor.
Thursday Run: Spent all day trying to work on my posture (it's terrible and I have back problems because of it). I had a chiropractic evaluation that evening and by the time I got home, my back was killing me. I didn't even get off the couch, much less run 3.1 miles.
Finally the morning of the race got here and we had a few more fails. We were supposed to be at the zoo at 7:45 am in order to have enough time to get parked and get settled for the 5k that was supposed to start at 8:15am. We didn't even leave the house until 7:30am, and we got stuck in the WORST traffic! Apparently everybody and their brother was trying to go to this thing, and 40E had the right lane in front of the exit closed. Of course... Witness the madness below.
We got there right at 8:15, and I was panicked that we would miss the race. I went ahead and pinned my bib on in the car, and then I helped Robert pin his own as we were running down the hill to the starting gate.
Luckily, nothing had started yet. In fact, nothing actually started until 8:30ish, lol! So as usual, I was panicked for no reason at all. The beginning of a race with 1000 people is ridiculous! We tried to let the faster people get ahead before we actually crossed the line to start our time, but trying to get around the people who were walking or who had strollers or who were just slow as molasses was crazy! We had to weave and dodge for at least the first 1/2 mile. We ended up running up a street, around a barrier and then back down. Next we went up another street, no barrier this time, so I'm not sure if where we turned around was right or not, but whatever. We then headed back to the starting point, but instead of that being the end, we had to CLIMB A FREAKING MOUNTAIN!!!! LOL! Ok, I'm kidding. It wasn't a mountain, but we did have to run up a significant elevation into the actual zoo. Cool to be running through the zoo; not cool to have to run vertically so late in the game. At that point, Robert ditched me. Apparently he saw the mountain and just took it head on- sprinted the whole thing to the top. (This is also the guy that went on his own training run on Wednesday and ran a 7:30 mile and completely wore out our extremely energetic little dog.) I saw the mountain and had to walk a couple times. :-/ Just a few though. I got my stride back and when I finally saw the finish line near the tiger cage, I ran harder and faster than I have in my life! It felt good to cross the finish and I ended up with a 36:30 time, averaging an 11 minute mile. I know it's not exactly the most athletic time, but my goal was 35 minutes, and with the crazy start and the unexpected hill- I'm proud of my attempt! Robert ran it in 33:09, but only because I slowed him down the first two miles. Overall we were in the 400's (out of over 1000), I was 21 out of 30 in my age category, and Robert was 12 out of 19 in his age category. I said I didn't want to come in last, so that's success in my book!
It was such a blast too! I can't wait to do it again and try to beat my time. After we finished, we realized the zoo was way too crowded, and since we're members who can go for free anytime- we left and went to cracker barrel for breakfast. Yum!
Today we took Quincy to the dog park we'd heard so much about from a friend and had such a good time! It has a pond and a great big fenced area where the puppers can just run and run and run! Everybody there had really well behaved dogs, so they all just got to run around sans leash and play and swim. We tried to teach Quince to swim, but I don't think she liked it. At one point she got overwhelmed by this little French Bulldog was picking on her, so she hid under the bench Bert and I were sitting on and just bayed and bayed and bayed! It was hysterical! I can't wait to take her back!
The Pond
Quincy's Bench
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Why I've been MIA...
... and what I plan to do about it.
Ok. I know I've posted probably three times this entire month, and I keep saying "I'm overwhelmed" or "Life's crazy" etc. etc., but I often feel like I'm making light of a situation that is weighing incredibly heavy on my psyche. I debated whether or not to even post this, but I'm not ashamed and I'm an open book and I'm a "problem-half-solved" so why not? (Apparently I'm also a purporter of run-on sentences.)
I have a generalized anxiety disorder; if you know me at all- you already knew that. I was diagnosed two years ago when panic attacks and an overwhelming fear of life itself caused me to almost flunk out of my student teaching. I was crying every day before and after work, Robert was the only person I really felt ok with, I slept away my weekends, I basically stopped eating, and my hair even began to fall out. It was terrifying, but honestly it was even scarier when the doctor told me I had to go on anti-depressants. The medicine worked instantly, and within two days I was confident and a completely different person. I just never could shake the thought that I needed chemical substances to cope with everyday life. I vowed I'd take the meds for the obligatory 9 months and then I'd find a way to deal with my brain on my own.
It's been two years, and I'm still on my low dose anti-depressant. I was told perhaps after the wedding and the move I would be able to come off the drugs but right now that's looking impossible. I was doing so well! Exercising and eating better. I barely have panic attacks anymore, and although my stress level stays high pretty much of the time, I thought that was normal for a first year teacher. I don't know what happened, but over Christmas break my anxiety came back. I've been struggling with nightmares, exhaustion, and TMJ (Tense Muscles of the Jaw? I think that's what it stands for...) plus some other symptoms I'm not going into for approximately two months. I dabbled in some yoga, I ate fruits and veggies, I started running... Nothing worked. I finally booked a doctor's appointment, and today she doubled my medication.
I'm so frustrated I want to scream and cry and hit things! But I just plaster on the smile and tell myself "I'll deal". I just wish I could convey how it feels to be a prisoner in your own body. My emotions never match my reactions- I don't even have to feel stressed or anxious during the day and I'm still clenching my jaw all night. It was so odd to feel blissfully happy at our wedding, but to suffer from insomnia my entire honeymoon! Even in a $200 a night gloriously comfy king sized bed, I could only sleep for 3 or 4 hours at a time.
But I'm not ready to give up yet. My dream is to not be dependent on medications for too much longer, and I think I can get there. So in my typical "Quit complaining and start a revolution!" style, I'm coming up with a plan to fight back against my inner demons. Hold me to it. And forgive me if my blogging goes AWOL in these uncertain times...
1. More spirituality- I already pray about this a lot, and I feel like in theory I should be able to just give my worries over to God, but for some reason he wants me to keep them. I'm going to find out why through more bible study, more quiet prayer time, and more discussions about this with my spiritual life partner- my hubby. He's been my "stress ball" and the only one who helps me cope with this, so I know God put him in my life to help me here.
2. More yoga and exercise- I've always wanted to be a yogi, here's my chance. I'm going to really try to do 20 minutes of yoga every day. I know that's ambitious, so on days where I'm exhausted or too tired, I'll let meditation count. I'm also going to keep up with my exercise regimen, subbing long walks with the husband and the dog when I'm too emotionally drained to go for a run. Anything is better than nothing.
3. Get educated- I'm headed to the library this weekend before I go home. I want to read up on what the heck is going on with my brain, why meds seem to be the only thing that works, and what my outlook is for the future. I'm also going to be very diligent with my medication so that it can do its thing and hopefully heal my neurotransmitters for good.
Ok- I think three goals are a good place to start, so I'll be back and giving updates on how I'm doing with them. I feel incredibly brave and liberated just by posting this, so hopefully I'm off to a good start. I think a lot of people with GAD are afraid to admit it, because it really is like admitting a weakness. But I think one of the reasons God gave me this trial is so that I can help others who are suffering in silence.
xoxox and Good Night
Ok. I know I've posted probably three times this entire month, and I keep saying "I'm overwhelmed" or "Life's crazy" etc. etc., but I often feel like I'm making light of a situation that is weighing incredibly heavy on my psyche. I debated whether or not to even post this, but I'm not ashamed and I'm an open book and I'm a "problem-half-solved" so why not? (Apparently I'm also a purporter of run-on sentences.)
I have a generalized anxiety disorder; if you know me at all- you already knew that. I was diagnosed two years ago when panic attacks and an overwhelming fear of life itself caused me to almost flunk out of my student teaching. I was crying every day before and after work, Robert was the only person I really felt ok with, I slept away my weekends, I basically stopped eating, and my hair even began to fall out. It was terrifying, but honestly it was even scarier when the doctor told me I had to go on anti-depressants. The medicine worked instantly, and within two days I was confident and a completely different person. I just never could shake the thought that I needed chemical substances to cope with everyday life. I vowed I'd take the meds for the obligatory 9 months and then I'd find a way to deal with my brain on my own.
It's been two years, and I'm still on my low dose anti-depressant. I was told perhaps after the wedding and the move I would be able to come off the drugs but right now that's looking impossible. I was doing so well! Exercising and eating better. I barely have panic attacks anymore, and although my stress level stays high pretty much of the time, I thought that was normal for a first year teacher. I don't know what happened, but over Christmas break my anxiety came back. I've been struggling with nightmares, exhaustion, and TMJ (Tense Muscles of the Jaw? I think that's what it stands for...) plus some other symptoms I'm not going into for approximately two months. I dabbled in some yoga, I ate fruits and veggies, I started running... Nothing worked. I finally booked a doctor's appointment, and today she doubled my medication.
I'm so frustrated I want to scream and cry and hit things! But I just plaster on the smile and tell myself "I'll deal". I just wish I could convey how it feels to be a prisoner in your own body. My emotions never match my reactions- I don't even have to feel stressed or anxious during the day and I'm still clenching my jaw all night. It was so odd to feel blissfully happy at our wedding, but to suffer from insomnia my entire honeymoon! Even in a $200 a night gloriously comfy king sized bed, I could only sleep for 3 or 4 hours at a time.
But I'm not ready to give up yet. My dream is to not be dependent on medications for too much longer, and I think I can get there. So in my typical "Quit complaining and start a revolution!" style, I'm coming up with a plan to fight back against my inner demons. Hold me to it. And forgive me if my blogging goes AWOL in these uncertain times...
1. More spirituality- I already pray about this a lot, and I feel like in theory I should be able to just give my worries over to God, but for some reason he wants me to keep them. I'm going to find out why through more bible study, more quiet prayer time, and more discussions about this with my spiritual life partner- my hubby. He's been my "stress ball" and the only one who helps me cope with this, so I know God put him in my life to help me here.
2. More yoga and exercise- I've always wanted to be a yogi, here's my chance. I'm going to really try to do 20 minutes of yoga every day. I know that's ambitious, so on days where I'm exhausted or too tired, I'll let meditation count. I'm also going to keep up with my exercise regimen, subbing long walks with the husband and the dog when I'm too emotionally drained to go for a run. Anything is better than nothing.
3. Get educated- I'm headed to the library this weekend before I go home. I want to read up on what the heck is going on with my brain, why meds seem to be the only thing that works, and what my outlook is for the future. I'm also going to be very diligent with my medication so that it can do its thing and hopefully heal my neurotransmitters for good.
Ok- I think three goals are a good place to start, so I'll be back and giving updates on how I'm doing with them. I feel incredibly brave and liberated just by posting this, so hopefully I'm off to a good start. I think a lot of people with GAD are afraid to admit it, because it really is like admitting a weakness. But I think one of the reasons God gave me this trial is so that I can help others who are suffering in silence.
xoxox and Good Night
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Two weeks later... (Graphic Picture Warning #1)
Sorry I've been MIA- the weeks following the incident at school got kind of squirrely... and crazy busy. The only reason I've got time to blog now is because I'm sick. Booo. Took me forever to admit that, but I suppose the low grade fever and two blisters in the back of my throat are signs that my body wants to take it easy. It's also a lot easier to take a sick day from church then it is from work, so after my update on Robert's birthday I plan on kicking back on the couch with my physics book, a good movie, and lots of cat naps.
Robert's Taco Party ended up being such a fun night even though it put me at least a week behind in grading and could be the reason for my brief blog hiatus. Here are some partay shots-
Everybody loves the iMac. ;)
Birthday Boy!
...and Birthday Boy being silly.
Robert and Lucas blow out their candles to the WORST rendition of "Happy Birthday" I've ever heard in my life. Seriously- I thought my ears would bleed!
Yummo Cake!
And to finish the night... a round of the most inappropriate/ fun game since Apples to Apples- LOADED QUESTIONS!
All in all, it was one of the best nights we've had here. :D So much fun! Other than that, we've been training hard for our 5k... well- trying to at least. We finally found a decent spot to run, but the first time we went, Bert stepped off the path and did this... (LOOK AWAY IF YOU DON'T LIKE BLOOD. NO SERIOUSLY!)
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Oh the horror! It was s'nasty! And we walked around town for about 3 hours with him bleeding all over his sock too. LOL- people kept stopping him to tell him he was bleeding. Hmmm. Really? Wow! Thanks! Didn't notice. He was such a trooper though. Then yesterday, we were halfway through our run when my fever started and I couldn't go any longer. We're trying though. We managed to get it down to 40 minutes, which is a craptastic time- about a 12 minute mile, but whatever. It's better than the 15 minute mile we started with right?
Well, have a good day everyone! Hot tea and the couch are calling my name! XoXoX
Robert's Taco Party ended up being such a fun night even though it put me at least a week behind in grading and could be the reason for my brief blog hiatus. Here are some partay shots-
Everybody loves the iMac. ;)
Birthday Boy!
...and Birthday Boy being silly.
Robert and Lucas blow out their candles to the WORST rendition of "Happy Birthday" I've ever heard in my life. Seriously- I thought my ears would bleed!
Yummo Cake!
And to finish the night... a round of the most inappropriate/ fun game since Apples to Apples- LOADED QUESTIONS!
All in all, it was one of the best nights we've had here. :D So much fun! Other than that, we've been training hard for our 5k... well- trying to at least. We finally found a decent spot to run, but the first time we went, Bert stepped off the path and did this... (LOOK AWAY IF YOU DON'T LIKE BLOOD. NO SERIOUSLY!)
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Oh the horror! It was s'nasty! And we walked around town for about 3 hours with him bleeding all over his sock too. LOL- people kept stopping him to tell him he was bleeding. Hmmm. Really? Wow! Thanks! Didn't notice. He was such a trooper though. Then yesterday, we were halfway through our run when my fever started and I couldn't go any longer. We're trying though. We managed to get it down to 40 minutes, which is a craptastic time- about a 12 minute mile, but whatever. It's better than the 15 minute mile we started with right?
Well, have a good day everyone! Hot tea and the couch are calling my name! XoXoX
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